Maybe it's the over-protective mom in me that speaks out but when it comes to signing up my kids to classes after school and also paying money for them, I am expecting that the kids would at least have fun. Their days at school are full of long hours of listening, learning, paying attention and following rules, with only 30 minutes to run around, play and do what they are originally supposed to do; be kids. 30 minutes... So, of course I sign them up for different activities to enrich their knowledge and help them acquire new skills, but above all I want them to enjoy it, have fun and come back with great big smiles on their faces, because these classes may lead to their future hobbies. So the first session my son had chosen was karate. I spent a couple of weeks researching the different options and hand picked the far most recommended and reputable one. Needless to say it was also the most expensive but I really wanted to make sure his first experience is going to be as enjoyable and positive as possible. So the first lesson, he is excited, wearing his karate uniforms, mentioning something about wanting to have a black belt. Well, I could relate to that of course, every child wants to be the best, and black also happens to be my boy's favorite color. I mentioned that to the instructor, thought that at the young age of 3 they can make an exception or find some creative way to please him. No response. My son tries as well and she tells him that if he works very hard (15 years or so) he will eventually get a black belt. So, disappointed he let me tie his white belt and starts the class. This is only the first class but he tries really hard to impress the instructor and does everything she says impressively. A small positive feedback and he is SO happy! this is going great so far, so we are happy too. But then they play a well complicated game and he gets confused and is being sent to sit down with some other kids. She could add some positive feedback, to make him feel satisfied with his accomplishments, but instead she unpleasantly says:" you were not paying attention!". So he goes to sit down with the biggest disappointed face ever and when the class is over he runs back to us with tears in his eyes and his only take home message is: "I wasn't paying attention in class, I am no good in karate". So not only he did not have fun, his motivation was totally crushed. He didn't even want to hear the word karate from that day on and asked that we give back his uniforms and the white belt he didn't like in the first place.
So on we went to swimming class. Again, I researched every swimming school possible and found what seemed to be the best fit. My son loves the water and asks to go to the community pool on every chance he gets. The class consists of only 3 kids, 2 of them are mine, and ends well before schedule with all 3 kids crying and running away from the pool. This specific swimming pool has a great reputation but obviously that specific instructor wasn't a suitable instructor for kids. "I have to be strict with them if you want your kids to learn how to swim" he explained. Well, one can be strict but still nice and positive... Using a negative attitude with kids can not only hurt their learning process, it can also destroy their motivation and willingness, that's how I see it. Of course I am the over-protective mom, I am fully aware of my flaws, so that might be just me but I would not pay money for instructors that don't know how to spark and maintain kids' enthusiasm and I would certainly not pay money to instructors that have the unique talent of scaring kids away.
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